Saturday, January 27, 2024

WELCOME Home ❤️

Ist impressions: People are super hospitable. I never fail to notice that Malaysians are generally very accommodating and helpful. Especially when I have been away. 
After a good night's sleep we decided to take the Light Rail Transit (like a sky train in some parts) to the heart of Kuala Lumpur. 
The first episode of random kindness

When we boarded the train, we found 2 separate seats. Suddenly the couple and their college going  son who were sitting between us stood up. 
The father said, ' We will move so you can 
sit together!"
They were about to perform musical chairs and we immediately thanked them for their kind gesture and convinced them that it was absolutely fine to be seated apart for 45 minutes as we could look forward to an eternity of togetherness ❤️.

The second episode of random kindness. 

When the weather is great, and most people are eating alfresco, that made us think about eating as well even when it was 10pm and we were certainly not that hungry. 
So we walked to a food truck about 5 minutes from where we stay. 
I asked the chef for something that was not listed as a set dish. 

Could he just fry 2 eggs, sunny side up and fries for the man? 

Before I could even bat an eyelid, he said "boleh boleh" .(Yes! Yes!) 

I looked around and there was no vacant table available. 

Seeing my worried face, he said "Tak ape, boleh DIY." (it's OK, we can create one) 

Like a true magician, he whipped a table and 2 plastic seats out of the air.

I wanted a cup of hot coffee and a can of coke but the chef did not serve beverages, only food. He said I could go and grab them from the convenience store about 10yards away. 

So I went there dutifully and got the coke and a sachet of ready-mix coffee. 

The third episode of random kindness 
The next challenge was how to get hot water out of a kind of unfamiliar contraption. The counter boy came running and showed me how. 
I found a stirrer and just when I thought I had it done and was about to throw the stirrer away, an elderly customer who must have been watching this strange person who couldn't operate a simple hot water contraption, excitedly said,
 'No you must continue stirring, there's still a lot of goodness at the bottom of the cup that hasn't dissolved yet.'

I wanted to give her a hug. A mother watching over another mother. 😂

When we were done with the feasting, the chef's wife thanked us and said' datang lagi ye?' (please come again?)

And so we walked home. A warm night, a big bright moon and happy hearts. 

Saturday, December 30, 2023

THE JOURNEY

It was a cool morning and the final week of 2023 when my friend and I decided to meet up at a local cafe. She ordered peanut butter toast with banana slices and I ordered a bap with cheese and egg. Not one who has a great appetite for breakfast, I couldn't finish the bap and so I ate the good bits - the melted cheese and the egg - and left some bread behind.

Looking at what I had done, I confessed that if I had done that as a kid in front of my parents, I would have got an earful for being picky, for wasting food and for depriving some hungry child of food in a poor country. But of course, now that I've lived to a ripe old age, I have the privilege of leaving some bits behind on my plate. 

My parents were humans themselves and not everything they did was right. But I'm extremely thankful for the values and ethics that they imbued in me. Prudence vs extravagance. Tenacity vs tardiness. Respect vs egocentricity. Confidence vs insecurity. To know who I am and to be proud of all that I am. To know when to lead and  when to follow. To know when to speak out and when to be silent. To know when I am wrong and when I should say I am sorry. 

I wonder how many children are taught these basics these days? In the quest of making a child happy, is it out of date to teach discipline and to set boundaries? 

Someone asked me whether I knew of anyone  who would like brand new and used toys. She said if she gave away 80% of her little boy's toys, he would hardly miss them. 

So sad. That kind of money spent on toys could have been put aside for his future. 

I started saving religiously  when I was 6. I opened joint bank accounts for my children and they learned how to save from a very young age just as I did. And this worked very well when they purchased their first car or house. 

Upbringing influences what we do. Are we a good fit or are we misfits? 

I know of someone who had changed many jobs and was always complaining about her last job and the people she worked with. I wonder whether she ever paused to reflect. Could she herself be the problem? 

Everyone has the potential to grow if he wants to. Just like the koi principle. If you keep a koi in a small fish bowl, it will grow to be only about two or three inches long. But if you release it into a small pond, it will reach six to ten inches long. However, if you put it in a lake, it can even grow to three feet!

Are we limiting ourselves because of fear? Are we huddling in our comfort zone, mixing only with people we know from long ago and doing things that are familiar? In other words are we stuck in our own mindsets and perspectives of looking at things around us? 

Self growth is the result of failures and successes. I can look back now and embrace my journey in life and praise God for every experience, good or bad. 

Because without the briars and thorns there will be no me in the present. I have become who I am and am still becoming. 

Amazing, isn't it? 









Thursday, November 9, 2023

THE CHOICES WE MAKE

 


Autumn is my favourite season and as I was driving this morning, the colours of the trees that pave the road never fail to evoke a sense of gratitude in me. Nothing can be more beautiful than leaves rustling in the wind and falling one by one till the ground is carpeted with hues of red, orange, brown and green.

I am thankful for the songs from Spotify, for the almost desolate roads with no traffic jams and for the free coffee I have just redeemed, having drunk 10 cups over time. Small things, but all the more precious.

There are so many things that I want to do and some weeks pass with doing nothing new and then there are weeks where everything comes together all at once. I find myself engaged in so many new activities this Autumn and the thing is, I completely enjoy all of them.

There are activities that I’m naturally inclined to and there are activities that I am not.

Let’s talk about outdoor sport and gyms.

Not exactly my cup of tea but there’s one thing that I treasure most and that is good health. I owe it to myself to take care of my body because life is a gift. I prefer to stay healthy than to give reason for the doctor to prescribe tablets for diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol and the list goes on. Many regular activities came to a halt during the lockdown so I decided to join a fitness programme once again.

Truth be told, crawling out of a warm bed on a cold and wet morning to head to the gym is torture. But finishing a session makes me feel good all over. Hard work but rewarding. The personal trainer is all encouragement as I’m not one who naturally gravitate towards mean machines and dumb bells.

It so happens that swimming classes have also commenced after a break and when notified I decided to take that up as well. No harm checking out  if I’m Olympic material.

Autumn is also the season where many colleges offer part time programmes for people who have learnt too much but still want to learn. So I signed up for 10 classes of make up techniques – day makeup, evening makeup, contouring, block eye shadow, socket line eyeshadow, 1940s black flick red lip, smokey eye, strip lash application and everything else necessary to paint the empty canvas of a face. Nothing like letting the professional make up artist teach me a thing or two. I enjoy every bit of it and it’s all coming to an end now so next week I’ll venture into learning  stained glass techniques, something up my street.

And so I am very thankful for the choices made.

To reset the brain– to see the positive and not the negative; to overcome fear and face challenges; to be disciplined and to have the opportunity to give and serve others in church, in the neighbourhood and at home.

I am thankful to be surrounded by a good husband, children and friends.

Most of all to know that when I reach home, there are logs burning in the stove and the room is warm.



 

 

 

Sunday, December 25, 2022

THE CYPRESS AND MYRTLE TREES



One of my favourite books is 'The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse' by Charlie Mackesy and I was very glad that BBC screened an animated version of it over this Christmas season and also an insightful interview with the author.  So I took the book out of the cupboard and read it again.

We normally associate this season with joy and all things good. Rightfully so. But then again, somewhere, someplace there is sorrow and grief and sadness and a feeling of betrayal and being sidelined. There is this missing of someone, missing of a place called home and missing of  what could have been.

'What do you want to be when you grow up?' 'Kind' said the boy.

We have forgotten what it is to be kind.  Hearts rendered asunder by  words and actions. Kind - An almost archaic word that it comes as a surprise when someone says, 'You are so kind' and mean it.

The fox is caught in a trap. The mole says, 'If you stay in that snare, you will die.' So the mole chewed through the wire with his tiny teeth. That is kind. If we choose to stay in that snare, we will also die. 

'What is the bravest thing you have ever done? asked the boy to the horse. 'Help' said the horse. 'Tears fall for a reason and they are your strength not weakness.'

When you share your pain with your good friend or your adult child and both of you end up crying, there is healing in the solidarity. You may just lie in bed and wonder if there is a reason to get up. 'Sometimes,' said the horse. 'Sometimes just getting up and carrying on  is brave and magnificent.'

Promise.

I turn to Isaiah 55:13.

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree.

Cypress: In ancient Israel cypress represented healing, uprightness, evergreen, eternal life. They are long living trees that are able to endure harsh climates and poor soil. Bald cypress trees are valued for the rot-resistant heartwood of mature trees, so they have been widely used to make fence posts, doors, flooring,  boats, and more. Cypress was used in the building of Solomon's temple.

Myrtle: a slow growing fragrant tree, that is always green, with big beautiful blossoms and a strong root system. Even when it is cut to a stump, its roots cause it to sprout again.

Brier(s): symbolize dearth and drought.

This is my Christmas passage and it has become a personal anchor to hold onto. It is the promise of Cypress and Myrtle instead of  thorn and brier.

So, 'What do we do when our hearts hurt? asked the boy.

'We wrap them with friendship, shared tears and time, till they wake hopeful and happy again' said the horse.


Sunday, October 16, 2022

Emancipation




We have just returned from a short holiday to New York and out of my 3 trips to the same city, I would say this is the best. Why? My daughter lives there. No, I didn't do the touristy stuff as I've seen what I needed to see. Yes, there were plenty of other things to do and finding unexpected treasures in the city was a bonus.

Limitations. I like the term 'mind-forg'd manacles' by William Blake. Although Blake used it to describe self imposed social and intellectual restrictions that deprive humans of experiencing nature and the true human spirit, I would like to use it to describe the circumstances, words, thoughts or expectations that shackle the human spirit. And we have many.

It is a wonderful thing to feel free. It is strange but somehow humans consciously or unconsciously put shackles on another. Be it a thought or an action. I have a doormat that reads 'PLEASE HIDE PARCELS FROM MY HUSBAND'. Maybe that's why I like to shop alone. Because one wrong word from another person who goes with you on a shopping spree takes  the joy out of shopping altogether.

It devalues the purchase.

And so I entered a craft store. That is a very dangerous place indeed. There was this lovely quilting kit that shouted loudly to my soul. I looked at it and saw the price. Then I walked away.




My daughter said, 'Mum, if you like it, buy it.'

Music to my ears.

Then I went to a flea market. That again is a very dangerous place indeed. There was this lovely Autumn teddy bear that again shouted loudly to my soul. I looked at it and told myself I have quite a few teddy bears at home. Then I walked away.


My daughter said, 'Mum, if you like it, buy it.'

I started dancing.

Because she knows. She knows where I have been all these years, putting herself, her brother and her sister before me. It is time I think of me. Now that I have lived long enough and can afford it.

Emancipation.






Wednesday, March 16, 2022

HEAVEN ON EARTH


We were on one of our random escapades and as the Dacia meanders the long stretches of country roads, the rolling meadows reminded me of a prayer I made a long time ago.


I asked Him for a piece of heaven on earth.

And He gave me Ireland.

Yes, it's all there as said in touristy brochures - the serenity, the calm and the awe inspiring landscape. The smile of a stranger, the absence of traffic jams. Picture perfect.




A place to call home, a place where there is hope and where dreams are made. Not only for me but for my children as well. When their  good grades and hard work are rewarded. When efficiency is recognised. When scholarships and promotions are given based on merit. When they are not put aside because of the colour of their skin. No more disappointments and tears because of the injustice of it all. No more strife. This land of Saints and Scholars.

I enjoy the sun. I enjoy the snow. I even enjoy the wind and the rain. Most of all I enjoy the lush green everywhere. Tranquility. The healing has begun.


A land of friendships. Meaningful relationships. Friends who care. And a husband who will die for me.


 I put the finishing touches on a quilt, himself navigates Sudoku and Simon & Garfunkel belts out The Boxer in the background while the flickering flames lick the stove.


I asked Him for a piece of heaven on earth. 

And He gave me Ireland.

                                                                      Happy St Patrick's Day!

Sunday, February 13, 2022

GOING KOREAN


KOREAN drama series are very addictive they said. I didn't know what they meant. UNTIL.

Because of the many cold rainy days, I decided to watch one series. Any excuse to explain this queer addiction. And so I am hooked!

Why are the episodes so engaging?

I must justify this binge.

1. The Complete Story

Nothing in any episode happens at random. There is a beginning, a middle part and a conclusion. Even if a character appears in episode 4 and disappears for the rest of the episodes, he will definitely reappear as part of the plot, even if it is in the last episode. When things become complicated, you can rest assure that there is a proper explanation by the time the series ends. The number of episodes is just right: 16 - 20 approximately. You can cry or laugh but you know you just have to go through this number of episodes. Nothing drags on. There are some western series that just go on and on until the plot becomes so ridiculous, just because the producer needs to generate so many episodes to please the audience and of course to make money.

2. Soundtrack

I've never really listened to any Korean song before but the Korean drama soundtracks are so engaging. I go away humming the tunes in my brain.  Then I google the tunes on Youtube to see the lyrics in both Korean and English. I must say I have it bad. Of course the actors and actresses are just eye candy and I wonder how they can have such unreal porcelain-looking skin. Plenty of make up, photoshop or amazing lighting, I console myself.

3. Values




I can simply identify with the Asian values. My parents taught me those values and I practise them. I find it so refreshing especially when the bar has been set so low nowadays. There are different genres. I love the ones done in the Joseon dynasty most of all. Yes, I have to google the Joseon dynasty and learn about its meticulous history record keeping techniques, why the eunuchs can have wives and adopt children and the dynasty's relationship with the Ming dynasty. I love history so that suits me fine.

4. Food



There's always plenty of food around. Not big plates that make you overeat but dainty little servings. We went to Kimchi school in Seoul and suddenly I felt that kind of kinship with the preparation of those delicious morsels of food.

5. Love and language



But the best part is the portrayal of love. We are bombarded with plenty of lust and sex in the everyday media whereby a meeting of 2 individuals who feel a 'connection' almost certainly end up in bed in the next scene. Korean dramas just make watching a love relationship delightful. We may have to plough through 8 episodes for a single kiss or a holding of hands. It's the suspense and waiting that makes it more alluring and worthwhile. 

I can't find fault with the language either even though I only read the subtitles. The moment I finish watching an episode and revert to a normal tv programme, I can almost immediately hear foul language and curses whether it is an office scene, a family scene or a lover's quarrel. Lots of yelling to boot.

KOREAN drama series are very addictive they said.

I have just finished one series and I can't wait to start another. Maybe when summer comes and I can spend more hours outdoors, I may be weaned off them. But then again, who cares? 

This is the beauty of hard earned retirement.